Sunday, April 10, 2016

Knowing Doesn't Matter

There has been so much power flowing into life these past few months. Some see it as chaos, others see it as the destruction of the old to make way for the new. Others, especially those who love change and challenge are in their glory.

It becomes so clear, as we watch the reactions to this new and wonderful transformation of life, that perception is key, our belief systems hold the answers to our questions.

The New Moon this past week brought many insights and dreams. Many were so metaphorical, I am still processing, though I know the understanding will come in time. One, however, was very clear and I was instructed to share it.

Whenever there is something important I need to see or understand, eagle comes to me in meditation or dream time. He gently spreads his wings and offers to take me above the fray so I can see more clearly, the bigger picture of a situation. I pull back when eagle wants to take me beyond the limitations of this galaxy. Though I am willing to see our earthly realm from a deeper, wider perspective, willing to travel to the Akashic Field to access new ideas and understandings, I have not been ready or willing to go beyond the beyond.

As I climbed on eagle's back, spanning my arms across his wing span, I got a sense this was not going to our usual tour of relaxation and reassurance. As we took off from our place on the beach, I noticed that it was not the usual gentle breeze, clearing my mind, but rather a strong gale, making me fearful we would not get off the ground.

Once we were above the wind force, I suddenly realized all I thought I knew was gone. When I tried to think there was nothing I knew, at least nothing I felt sure I knew. Confusion settled into a gentle peace and for the first time in a long time, it was okay to know nothing. All of my beliefs were replaced with simple love, light.....

As usual we passed over my childhood - the farm where I grew up learning about nature, plants, the stars, the clouds and people. This time however I had no recollection of my beliefs or judgements of any of it. There was just a sense that all of this had brought me to this time on eagle's wings, seeing the world differently, without judgement or expectation.  Tears of joy began streaming down my face and falling toward the earth, creating a rainbow. I found myself focused on this rainbow, feeling as though it was my creation, finding myself feeling proud of my accomplishment.

I was so intent on what I thought I had created that I did not notice eagle had passed our usual landing point until I saw it in the distance. I called for eagle to return. With a chuckle he said, "If you had not been so busy fluffing your own feathers, you would have seen where you were going." Such humility befell me, I could only hold on and reach out for trust and faith in where I was being taking, against my will.

I watched as we approached a narrow portal and wondered how we would ever pass through. Yet I felt the strength of eagle passing through me and in awe I felt myself surrendering to this force much greater than I could ever be. I closed my eyes for just a moment and when I opened them, we had moved from the earthly realm to a place so familiar I could not help but feel at home. Eagle landed and let me slide off his back and sit in what seemed mid-air and yet I felt supported. I also felt protection and a love I had never felt before. I looked around and found the stars of my youth, but brighter, more clear and could feel the warmth they offered. Clouds drifted by with messages, animals and ideas, much as I noticed as a child, but in this space they offered hope and laughter more profound than I had known. Throughout my childhood and even as a mom, I often saw dragons in the clouds and I would holler to the wind (and my daughter) "fear not for I'm a dragon slayer". This time I did not feel the need to slay the dragon. As she approached with fire blazing I opened up, allowing her flame to burn the remnants of painful memories away. I felt such gratitude for her presence. I felt the moonlight, cooling the flames and pulling all resistance from my body and my mind.

As the sun began to rise, the colors overwhelmed my senses and the heat seemed to be dissolving me, melting away all parts of who I thought I was. I looked for eagle, wanting to leave before I could no longer breathe. And then, all panic left. All there was, was light. Light so gentle, yet filled with colors we cannot paint.

And from this place I heard a quiet voice, "Ask, Thy Will Be Done for it is then you shall receive." "No longer be afraid to travel where you do not know, for here there is so much to learn, and nothing you learn will matter anyway." "All you need is given you, and all you need is love."

I do not know if eagle brought me home......

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