Caring Gossip is Still Hurtful

In "Don't Change For Heaven's Sake" I wrote about common obstacles to a happier life. One major pitfall is what I call Caring Gossip.  Most of us are aware of how just plain gossip affects others but we often forget that involving ourselves because we care about someone can be just as harmful.

I write about this now, because it seems to be a prevalent condition at this time - not just in our community but around the world.

Following is a quote for the book

I admit I am still working on the “caring gossip”.  You know the kind where someone just wants to help a friend because of their troubles.  They tell others in order to bring support into the situation…..  It seems harder to stop someone who is not being malicious, but still I know if that person wanted me to know their “stuff” they would call me.  You know it too.  Why is another’s pain, loss, fear, lack so interesting? 

This is not to say you will not reach out to someone in crisis.  There is a difference between just talking about a situation and helping out someone in the community. 
We do not know whether there is even a problem, yet if we think it would cause us pain or worry, we assume another must be affected in the same way. If we don't know the whole story, our questions or version of the story may be the bringer of pain or a change for the worse in the circumstances of others. This is usually done without ill intention on the part of the gossiper, but it does not make it any less harmful.

For the next 30 days try, just one day at a time to stop yourself when you find you are talking about another person's "stuff". If you feel another needs your help, or support go to them directly. If they share with you, keep it to yourself. If you are the confidante of a friend, keep it to yourself. Here is my suggestion from the book:

Try this – For 30 days, listen to your friends, but don’t pass it on.  How has it changed your conversations; your self- respect?  When the 30 days are up, make a choice to stop passing on gossip, then begin changing the subject or clarifying that you are not interested in what the neighbors are doing. (Be interested only if your neighbors choose to share with you.) See and feel the difference.  One day at a time will lead you to stronger friendships. 

Loyal friends are important if you are trying to create your own heaven here on earth.  Treasure the trust of friendships.
Writing this has been a good reminder for me as well. Stronger communities, depend on stronger friendships. Let's all think before we speak, the world will be a better place.

Blessings

Allowing Self-Acceptance

Today I release all hopes, dreams, and desires. Most of them were built on a need for approval. In an instant I realize it is a need to approve of myself that keeps me seeking yours. So today I ask, "What do I do from love, from the heart, from my soul? What thoughts and actions feel right and in harmony with the truth of my being? What words would I speak, if they were of my true nature?"

If we approve of ourselves, there is no need for the approval of others. If, at the end of the day there is no guilt, no remorse, no promises unkept, or decisions unmade, then I have been true to myself. If I can look at what has been accomplished and what is left undone, and know I have done everything possible, that is enough.

One of the commandments is "Thou shall have no other gods before you". Today I see a new perception of this law. I realize that maybe Jesus was trying to tell us, that our own being must come first. There is only one God and that One Spirit lives within all of us, but we cannot change others. We alone cannot change the world. The only difference we can make comes from recognizing God within ourselves. When we seek approval outside of ourselves, in essence we are saying the God within you, is greater than the God within me, or otherwise saying there is more than one God. Beyond the ego, within the core of our being, we are all one. Without self-love, and self-acceptance, we cannot truly love or accept the Divine within each other. Seeking approval is to say I am not of God, and that is an impossibility. If we are seeking outside of ourselves, it is a good indication we know there is something we are doing or being that is not in harmony with Creation. When we put our own approval first, what we offer to others will be in alignment with Love and Light, and if we are at peace with ourselves, we can only offer peace to others. Whether they accept will depend on their own consciousness, and is not a reflection of the self.

The end result is another commandment stating a similar law. "Love your neighbors as yourself". As we learn to love and appreciate our own inner core, we then find loving our neighbors is a natural part of living, for it becomes easy to see the Divine within them. Once we find the loving, accepting and allowing part of ourselves, we are more able to see it within everyone around us.

To love thyself, and to accept the God Within is not selfish or egotistical, it is the complete opposite. It is unconditional love for all of Creation and the reason we are here.

My mantra, YOU ARE A SUCCESS BECAUSE YOU EXIST, takes on a whole new meaning.

As for the mistakes I have made in an effort to be loved, liked and approved of, I will clear up those I can, and forgive myself, trusting the Creative Process to make all things right. We are here to learn, and to assist others in their growth, and while life seems hard and not at all perfect - everything is just as it is meant to be.

Today with or without your approval I seek to be true to myself, so I can be true to you.

Namaste

Just For Today I Will See the Sweetness in Life

I woke up this morning with a feeling of joyful anticipation. I've noticed this feeling a lot these past few months. Then I begin to wonder what will happen today? Why am I having this feeling? I question how I could be feeling this way with all I have to do, my responsibilities, the sadness of friends, and trivial worries I harbor.  The feeling disappears. I did something different this morning - I smiled to myself and out loud to the Universe, I affirmed, "Thank You". The feeling remains. I consciously decided last night before I went to sleep to do something different, when that peaceful, happy feeling arrived. I planted the idea of holding on to whatever I felt as I was waking. I remember a part of a dream where hummingbird reminded me of the sweetness in life, explaining it is always there we just forget to allow it - we look past it to the problems we think we are having. Even now fully awake, I see the truth of the dream.

Have you ever noticed in the moment before you are fully awake, you feel a sense of peace or joy, or perhaps you feel a deep sense of love for life? Then you begin to think of all you have to do today, or the phone call you forgot to return yesterday. Worries about what will be or how the day will turn out start to set in as you come fully awake, and in an instant the original moment of bliss is gone.

During the deepest part of our sleep, our minds and bodies are given opportunity to heal. Worries and fears disappear as we become more attuned to Spirit, knowing we are safe, loved and protected. Our dreams often show us the way out of difficulty, restoring balance. As we are waking we hold on to the knowing we are guided, that life is meant to be joyful and that all is just as it is supposed to be. Then we allow the mind to take over, reminding us of all we think is not so great in our world. We override the peace or joy or love, as we begin the to do list in our heads, wondering how we will make it through the day. The dream containing the solution is lost from our conscious mind, and once again we feel alone, having to face the difficulties on our own.

What if we held on to whatever feeling we had when we awoke? What if we just trusted the gift we were given in our sleep? What if we let ourselves believe that all would be well during the day? What if we knew there was nothing to fear or worry about? What if everything that happened during the day was a gift guiding us toward the joyful anticipation of life?

I have decided to try this new way of looking at all that is happening around me. For years I have affirmed that All is Well in My World, among many other inspirational thoughts as they come sporadically throughout the day. I read the Reiki Prayer - Just for today I will not be Angry. Just for today I will not Worry. Just for today I will be Thankful. Just for today I will do my work Honestly. Just for today I will send love to every living thing. But today, I am adding - Just for today I will accept the gift of joy anticipation and see where it leads. Today I will not let all that appears to be wrong with the world, be wrong. There is a reason for all things and I trust the Universe. For today I will just notice what happens and without judgment be grateful for life.

If you would like to join me in this adventure, add your comments. If we all become more accepting of the peace we wake up with perhaps our lives would begin to reflect those thoughts instead of all the worry, fear, grief, anger and guilt we now experience.

Blessings to All